Funny Amazon Reviews

Looking at products on Amazon I regularly come across strange reviews on lots of products I look at, many I look at just to find funny reviews. In this post I will be posting some of my favorite funny amazon reviews from various products. I didn’t write any of these so they may be removed on request of the reviewer or Amazon

BiC Cristal for Her

After BIC decided to launch a range of pens aimed at women they got a lot of stick for it in the press and also in reviews like this one on amazon where the user seems to confuse it with a vibrator.

Batteries not included? I couldnt find where the batteries go, and it doesnt vibrate at all. I know I could well be missing something, just being a girl and all that, so if one of those man pen users could help me out, Id be grateful. Very dissapointed

Thinkgeek Canned Unicorn Meat

Novelty unicorn meat for sale also got a lot of funny reviews with one user comparing it to unicorn meat from a well known upmarket British retailer Waitrose.

Not the best. Being quite the connoisseur of unicorn meat, I can only say that this brand does not compare to Waitrose Essential canned unicorn meat, which contains far more sparkles per serving.

A Whole New World

One reviewer of Katie and Peters album poked fun at their breakup in a hilarious review.

I thought she loved me! I bought this for my girlfriend, Im now single she became a lesbian and took my kids to live in florida with a woman who looks like Boris Johnson with a perm. I now spend my nights talking to a teddy bear who berates me and calls me a bitch!

Garbage Truck Simulator

Some reviews that I find are just plain stupid like the one below.

Read product title carefully, I bought this expecting to get a garbage truck simulator simulator, i.e. a game where I control a virtual person who is themselves playing a garbage truck simulation game.
Imagine my disappointment when I installed it and loaded it up to find that it was in fact just a simulator rather than a simulation of a simulator. Unsurprisingly, once you remove the simulated simulation element from this concept it proves to be excruciatingly dull and after playing the game for less than 10 minutes I suddenly found myself drinking gin and listening to a Lana Del Ray album whilst staring at a photograph of a crying child. It took a further two hours of repeatedly watching a YouTube video of a rabbit balancing a crumpet on its head before I felt like everything was going to be ok again.

Banana Slicer

The next review claims that a banana slicer saved his marriage which probably isn’t true.

Saved my marriageWhat can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasnt already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone. this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the days banana slices. Its one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas? and of course, You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?! These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. Thats when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier, AND weve even incorporated it into our lovemaking. THANKS 571B BANANA SLICER!